Tuesday, December 1, 2009

What, Me Worry?

I’m declaring today National Free From Worry Day (NFFWD). Thanks to me, you can go about your business without thinking of the hundreds of things that nag. Hang on a sec; I hear sirens. Oh wait, just remembered my daughters live out of town, so there’s no worry the ambulances or fire trucks are headed their way.

Now, where was I? Seems my memory is getting a bit foggy as I age. Like an overstretched rubber band, it pulls far out, but doesn’t snap back as it used to. But today is NFFWD, so no more worries about my brain.

Before that siren interrupted me…Wait, perhaps I should go to the window to make sure it’s not a fire truck screaming down our street. All is okay. Let’s see, I was talking about my daughters, and that reminds me of the time when they did live home and were old enough to drive and be out late. While hubby snored peacefully at my side, I, on the other hand, would lie awake with my ears perked like an on-edge animal. Not until I heard a key in the lock, did my ears and racing heart rate shrink.

Now that they are adults, with families of their own, my worry level on their behalf has significantly decreased. Except of course when it snows in Boston (Faith),

have tremors in L.A. (Jill), or any of my grandchildren spike a fever above normal.

Lest you think I’m obsessive only about my offspring, there are other things I worry about. The mail looms large. I’m convinced our USPS carrier lugs an overdue bill in her sack. The letter will be all caps and warns our electricity, cable, gas, or phone service will be cut unless the missing funds are supplied immediately. Of course, these bills are in error, but that doesn’t stop the sweat simmering on my brow, and that racing heart I described earlier.

E-mail used to induce shakes similar to those spurred by snail mail. I’d worry, is this message legit or phishing? But since I signed on with WeGotYourBack.com, a site based in Nigeria that guarantees I will never be the victim of a scam, I can rest easy. You might want to enroll as well. All you have to do is provide your social security number, your mother’s maiden name, your date of birth, and you’re in.

I have one more worry you might think silly, but bear with me. (I’ve awarding you this worry-free day, so the least you could do is hang on a bit.) I’m afraid my iPhone will die. You see, in the early days of the device, it took many trips to the Apple store and phone calls to a tech to unfreeze it. All of the phone’s info is stored on my Mac, so there's really no need to worry. But still…

Someone wise once said, “99% of the things we worry about never happen, so relax." Sounds sensible, right? But what if this maven wasn’t wise after all, just delusional or condescending?

That worries me.


ronnieisms said...

As usual, brilliant!

Anonymous said...

How refreshing, Elaine!


Anonymous said...

I sure relate to this post!!!! really enjoyed it.

love your similarly over-worrying friend,


Anonymous said...

Oh, if NFFWD could be that easy :-)

Good to hear from you; I look forward to reading your story.

Trust you had a Happy T-Day and that the forthcoming Holiday Season will be filled with glee.



Anonymous said...

Clever, where do you think of all these interesting things. Must be wonderful, you can amuse yourself just by blogging. Lucky you.

Keep the blogs coming. I really do enjoy them.

Steve Durning said...

I found this hilarious. Nothing like humor to keep worry at bay. Keep on keeping on!

Danny said...

I used to think that if I didn't worry, then those things I was worrying about would happen (you know, all the Evil Eye mishegoss) but I've changed my tune after this difficult year. Now I work hard at living in the moment. I don't always succeed but I'm doing my best to stop my constant catastrophizing!

P.S. Not to worry you, but I had a dream last night that L.A. was finally having "The Big One." We were at Kendall's mom's house and were watching the neighborhood pass by through the windows during the quake. Her house even turned a corner at one point but at least it didn't split up into a million pieces. Oy, I see all my catastrophizing has simply moved to my subconscious!

Anonymous said...

"Great Post,

Anonymous said...

nice mama!


Anonymous said...

My Mom was the best at worrying. I used to tell her that I would rent her out to my friends so that they could be worry free. Now that she is gone, I'm wondering if I should be worrying now.


Anonymous said...

I worry that you worry.


Anonymous said...

whew- thank you!
happy holidays.